Obituary of Mary Lou Gilstad

Mary Lou Gilstad (1930 – 2024)

Mary Lou passed away peacefully after a long illness on July 16, 2024 in her home at Seven Hills Senior Living in St. Paul. She was 94 years old.

She was born Betty Ann Self in 1930 in Los Angeles, California, then adopted and became Mary Lou Provan. She was raised in St. Paul, Minnesota, where she attended Macalester College and met, then married, Dick Gilstad. They had 3 children together, and in the 1960’s Mary Lou went to work in the early Head Start program in St. Paul, eventually moving to the University of Minnesota to start up the Early Childhood Studies Program, where she trained childcare and foster care providers. She developed training materials for US Army Child Development Services, and she traveled to places like Japan and Germany to train their providers in child abuse prevention. She got her bachelor’s degree when she was 50 years old. She was a long-term deacon at Dayton Avenue Presbyterian Church in St. Paul. Her church was always an incredibly important part of her life, and she was a volunteer at the local free clothing site there. She was a knitter, a reader and a writer, and she used her talents as an actress throughout her life.

Her family was the other most important part of her life. Mary Lou is preceded in death by her husband Dick and her grandson Matty. She is survived by her children: Beth (Clint), Mark (Sheri), and Sue (David). Also surviving her are her 8 grandchildren (Chris, Rick, Nick, Josh, Brian, Andrew, Mike, and Emily) and 5 great-grandchildren (Carew, Christian, Devin, Sean, Lucas). She will also be remembered by many nieces/nephews who remember her as a very nice, kind aunt, and her many extended family and friends over the years. When she was 85 years old, her family gave her a DNA test so she could at least know her ethnic background. At her request those results helped actually trace her biological parents, so she could know her “roots” as well as her childhood memories. Mary Lou lived a long, fulfilled life and deeply loved her many family and friends who were part of it. Many thanks to the folks at Seven Hills Senior Living and the Accent Care Hospice folks who made the end of her life peaceful and pain-free.

Mary Lou Gilstad's Service will be be at Central Presbyterian Church, 500 Central, downtown St. Paul on Saturday, Septemeber 14, 2024.  Friends and family are welcome to visit at 9:30am, and the church service will be at 10:30am; lunch will be served after the service. 

In lieu of flowers, family are asking for donations to be made to the Dorothy Day Center for their program to feed the homeless population in St. Paul.